awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
