just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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