Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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