I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I would ride that face into the sunset
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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