He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
