I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
