I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I am available for nakedness
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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