This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
