Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
