ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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