what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
