I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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