I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
