I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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