I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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