If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
