addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
