Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
