I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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