a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
