All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
