haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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