That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
