I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
kristin has been a bad kristin
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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