Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
