Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
handjob tips. give me some.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
