Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
