I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
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Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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