I feel like abortions should bother me more
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
