You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize