Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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