Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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