To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
