Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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