Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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