Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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