I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
