just survived the first fart of the relationship.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
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Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize