shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize