i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
