dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
