but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
