watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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