Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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