You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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