i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
