So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize