Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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