i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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