He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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