What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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