I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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