Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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