Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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