Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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