I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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