Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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