An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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