If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
