What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
